Final swimming tips

After finally getting back to a mile in the pool after several decades on land, the Doc has these tips for excellent lap swimming:

*People aren’t hitting your feet to annoy you, they are signalling that they are passing
*Swimmers passing you with their feet near your head are trying to annoy you
*A little snack before swimming, like a 6 inch meatball sub, does not cause cramps
*Cramps have no causes, only correlations
*Burping horizontally in the pool is easy after a little practice, though for the sake of other swimmers, some verticality is desirable
*Don’t say “anything is better than nothing” when people tell you how far they swim
*If a person swims underneath you near the bottom of pool, facing up, don’t complain: they are probably on leave
*If a towel never dries out between swims during cold weather, so what?
*Guys who wear caps, have arms that windmill furiously, and are moving very fast are not the enemy
*If you are not sure whether you are on lap twelve or thirteen, you are on lap twelve
*It’s easier to reduce drag than to increase propulsion; to get the streamlined shape practice crawling through some industrial alloy steel pipes (or not)
*Try to get the chlorine out of your hair, unless your head needs fiberglass insulation.